My retirement in the style of Brexit is falling apart, which I suppose means it isn't, because Brexit is falling apart, so I think that proves I'm still succeeding in following it. Oh, I don't know! This is getting so confusing. When it's fallen apart will I have been successful or not? Who knew this was going to be so difficult? It should have all been so easy.

Now we know that Brexit means postponing the more serious implications of leaving EU for another two years, saying we've left and successfully closed our borders while pretending nothing bad has happened. Except it will have. We won't have any say. And maybe it will be longer than two years if we can't sort out the border problem. The people pushing hardest to leave now say we'd be better off staying and we can't have that so we need to commit national suicide as the only honourable way out, except they call it some sort of transcendence, like in a cult. Those not keen on suicide say we should call the whole thing off.

It's all too much. I don't know how I can match this with my retirement plans. I can't keep the project going for much longer. I need a way out.

If I stay in line with the "deal" does it mean I should try to go back to work but without any pay, or just sit at home and pretend I'm still working? If so, what about my freedom to do other things? Continuing a work regime would mean I wouldn't be able to get on with my gardening or walking my dog. And that just defeats the entire purpose of retiring. So maybe I should go with the suicide option - which I can only interpret in my case as cutting myself off from my pensions and telling my friends they need visas to visit me and can only stay 10 minutes. Then I'd be busy trying to survive with almost no money and no friends. I'd probably have to sell up and lose my house and garden without knowing where I'd end up. Miserable and lonely I expect. I don't fancy that.

I don't have an option for calling it off because I have already signed my withdrawal agreement. I'm sorry to say I got a bit ahead of the plan. Or rather I had a plan and stuck to it for too long before I started this Retirement in the Style of Brexit project.

What a mess! The only thing I can think of for the moment is to open my gate again and pretend for the next two years nothing has happened and hope it will all go away. Thank goodness I stockpiled jam.

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